Friday, November 14, 2008

They grow up so fast, don't they?



We spent half term with old friends in Hampshire. My friend from university married Lurch's school friend and they have two boys, exactly the same age as ours. It was lovely. On Halloween we went trick or treating, not that I really approve of that activity, but I relented. About 6 teenage girls came round to call for James, Danny Boy was all studied cool, simmering embarrassment and self consciousness but tailed along with the group. I noted that all of the girls were taller than me, and considerably thinner.

My friend and I took the two younger boys trick or treating. The last door they knocked on was that of a bent and twisted old man of about 98. The Terminator saw him approaching through the frosted glass front door and took his werewolf mask off. Eventually the door opened, The Terminator said 'don't worry, we'll go away' but the old man insisted on searching for something for them and, after 15 minutes he came back and gave the boys 5p to share. They said thank you very politely and my heart swelled with pride when TT explained he'd taken his mask off to avoid causing a fatal heart attack.

Back home to their cosy warm house. Matt's an architect and they've renovated some old stables. All of the children were playing in the garden and Lurch knocked up his speciality for us, Mojitos - topped with fresh mint. Delicious! Life was sweet until I heard the deafening tones of The Terminator from the garden 'You f***in' w***aah!' I inhaled the mojito suddenly, coughing and spluttering, aghast. I called them inside and asked TT what he thought he was doing shouting in someone else's garden, and him a guest to boot. 'Don't worry, Mum' he responded 'it's not real, we're playing Chavs and Robbers! It's so much fun swearing...'


Having put a stop to the game we returned home a couple of days afterwards. A week or so later a shifty looking Danny Boy sidled up to me. 'What's wrong?' I asked 'I've got something to tell you' he replied, looking pale and drawn and at the floor, 'I've been looking at porn on the internet'. This time it was a cup of tea that I ingested. We sat down to talk about it, I found it very, very difficult, I was cross but he had told me. He then explained that all of his friends were doing it and one boy, Robert, spent every Friday night with a couple of Jack Daniels and Cokes surfing the world wide web. He'd given Danny Boy the websites. 'Robert's mother is a teacher and Robert is telling lies' I explained to him. I also told him that porn wasn't real life and that psychiatrists offices were full of young men who were unable to have normal relationships after porn addiction. What else can you say?

I subsequently found out that one of his friends had actually downloaded two porn videos, paid for with his father's credit card. The parents had to send their son's birth certificate to the company to prove that he was 12. Naturally, every computer in the neighbourhood is now fitted with new software and we're trying to hold back that crashing tide...

17 comments:

KittyB said...

Pass me one of those mojitos, they look delicious. Chavs and Robbers made me laugh, although it certainly is absolutely unacceptable as a garden game (think of the neighbours!). The availability of porn to kids is frightening. At 12 they are savvy enough to overcome parental controls on the computer, it's a worry. At least he told you about it, he must be feeling very uncomfortable about it.

Expat mum said...

Oh please be careful with that. We had a little trouble earlier this year and when I saw what had been viewed I nearly had a heart attack. Some of it is really nasty stuff, and even if they think what they're looking at is fairly harmless, the pop-ups lead them to far worse places. Kudos to your son for telling you but it also means that he was a little bothered by what he saw!

rosiero said...

I suppose before computers and the internet, it was porn magazines under the bed. Boys will be curious. I think once their curiosity has been answered, they stop doing it.

Lori ann said...

yes, to all of the above comments.Oh Btm, being around teenage girls is the worst thing one can do for ones self-esteem.They are all evil.Keep away.(hehe!) I have 3 sons, and have had similar situations. I agree that coming to you was a good sign, the guilt was too much.I think you did the right thing, keep the door open to always allow talk of this kind. Once my 12 year old son sent in a subscription for Playboy(without my knowing).When the mag came, addressed to him, I panicked and immediatly called the publisher. They were so kind and understanding, they said this sort of thing happened all the time and they would stop sending the mag immediatly. Then I sat my son down and told him no, he couldent have playboy.I told him it wasnt even legal, you have to be 18 in the US to look at these kinds of mags or even porn. So he said ok.And when he turned 18 he wasnt interested anymore. I think...

blogthatmama said...

Kitty B I would be having a mojito now but I'm off to the theatre in York to see 'I want that hair'...

Expat Mum I saw what he'd been looking at and was appalled, incredible what you can get access to on the internet.

Rosiero, those were the days, if only it was a tame mag under his mattress.

blogthatmama said...

Lori Ann, your comments are giving me hope! Thank you

Suburbia said...

Chavs and robbers, lol :)

My Tall Girl was 12 last weekend, I had no idea her classmates may be into porn! Good that he told you though, it must have worried him. Hopefully now he's seen it and knows what it's about, maybe he'll not go there again. Or am I being naive?

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

God I loved the Chavs and Robbers statement - really really funny. Re the porn - thank God he told you, you lucky embarrassed old thing you. You can’t hold back the tide but you can paddle alongside them for a bit longer until they sail off on their own.

Milla said...

oh God! this is outrageous! T12 is being sent really rampant texts from girls ("I want to have sex with you" etc) he is bemused. WHAT ARE THEY LIKE!! Jack Daniels and porn at 12. There was none of this at NCT!

(Very) Lost in France said...

Chavs and Robbers! Fabulous! Though I obviously feel for your embarrassment as a fellow parent of course. One of DS's friends in primary school here in France was expelled for downloading rude pictures from the internet and selling them in the playground. He'll probably make his first million by his 21st birthday. VLiF

Casdok said...

Im glad he told you and you could talk about it.
I love that photo.

blogthatmama said...

Suburbia, watch out, it creeps up on you before you know it!


MOB and VLiF I kept a straight face at Chavs and Robbers, God alone knows how.

Milla, those girls mean business.

Casdok, I'm glad he told me at least we can talk about it.

Mean Mom said...

Chavs and Robbers sounds like a great game. Could you post the rules, or something? I think it might be a game I could actually be good at. I know lots of swear words.

Now, do you have the details of those websites? ;0)

Sorry, I don't mean to make light of these things. I think that the porn problem is a common one, these days. You dealt with both situations admirably, in my opinion!

DJ Kirkby said...

Hello. I found you on Casdok's blog. Thank you for saying you will be buying my book. That pic at the top of your post is scary but I sure like the one at the end of the post. 'Chavs and robbers' huh? How the world has changed. That old man sounded like a sweetie.

French Fancy said...

I love those tree hands. I also snorted with laughter at the thought of you snorting your various drinks - although i suppose I shouldn't have chuckled at the porn confession. How nice the TT sounds - taking his mask off so the old boy wasn't terrified. Your boys sound great.

Working mum said...

I think you can be really proud of yourself as a mother - TT and the mask and Danny Boy telling you about the porn (I'll just gloss over the "Chavs and Robbers", shall I? he he he)

cheshire wife said...

I do not remember my brother going through this phase probably because I was too busy chasing after boys.