Tuesday, February 03, 2009

You've trampled on them, Heston Blumenthal!


My dreams that is. It's been a bitter and difficult January. What with Lurch's wandering, virus-seeking fingers and the constant stream of bad news and predictions for the UK housing market and general economy. But, ever the optimist, I started the year brimming with hope. There was one particular glimmer that was warming itself daily in the first week of the New Year. I had set my heart on winning the Walker's 'Do Us A Flavour' competition (that's the same as Frito Lays for the non-UK readers). £10,000 (at least!) would be mine, if not winning the whole competition! The boys and I had spent the autumn concocting recipes, thinking of evocative names and unusual flavours - we were drawing inspiration from the most unlikely sources, buzzing with ideas and energy.

Danny Boy rushed home after looking at traffic lights in the rain and devised 'The Big Green Steam' - coriander, green chilli, wasabi and lemongrass. I had 'Battered and Bruised' - beetroot and beer, rejected on poor language taste terms but persevered. The Terminator came up trumps with 'Gingeroo!' - ginger and rhubarb. Then I reached (in my own mind at least, obviously) new levels of invention with two recipes I felt were sure fire winners: the evocative 'Root Tangle in Thyme' - strips of root vegetables roasted in thyme and a last burst entrant 'Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon' - roasted sweet potato with pumpkin, hot paprika, and - here's the genius touch! strips of cracked black pepper. Phew...

We waited for judgement day, hope beginning to fade. I stopped looking at brand new cream Fiat 500's and accepted that somebody else was obviously more creative than the members of the Blogthatmama family. I gingerly opened the website and to my absolute shock and horror saw 'Fish and Chips', 'Onion Bhaji', 'Chilli and Chocolate (have you ever tasted that? I have, Yuck!), 'Builder's Breakfast' (bit more imaginative), Duck in Hoisin Sauce (yawn!) and (a nod in the direction of creativity) Cajun Squirrel. WHAT!!!



That is why I'm blaming Heston. He may have been outvoted but I'm now beginning to suspect that the competition was just an excuse to see which flavours would be the most popular i.e. 500,000 votes for fish and chips = a winner. Why bother pretending you have to satisfy all senses and create flavour collisions and interesting names? Why, Heston, Why?

Still, we enjoyed ourselves and it's good for the kids to be imaginative. I've resolved that we'll find another competition and win it between us this year. Oh yes we will. That will show you, Heston!




19 comments:

My Little Brown Book said...

I quite like the idea of 'Builders Breakfast' flavour...

My other half tried the Crispy Duck ones the other day.

'What were they like?'

'They made me want to go for a Chinese....'

I'm guessing that means they hit the spot!

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Oh for what it is worth, I thought that your suggestions were amazing. Perhaps Heston has lost his way, what with re-jigging the Little Chef roadkill cafe! Take your talents elsewhere and away from the madding crowd - there were too any pleb type names and pedestrian tastes being voted for there! Better luck next time...

Millennium Housewife said...

I didn't win either though they nicked my squirrel idea, it was fab - Squirrel and Hazelnut: Strips of fried squirrel wrapped around a hazelnut.What's not to like?

Mean Mom said...

Well, your suggestions bowled me over! They sounded fantastic. Was it rigged?

Fish and chips??

KittyB said...

Fish and chips, yuk. I would have gone for pepperoni pizza flavour.
I'm dreaming of a cream Fiat 500 too. Sigh.

cheshire wife said...

When the chips are down (recession and cold weather) what we need is comfort food.

Lori ann said...

What do they know anyway?

I vote for Gingeroo! I think i've never liked anything more!

xx lori

Milla said...

you;re wasted, BTM, those ideas are so good, so much better than the dismal winners, and I love that orange thing - please don't tell me it's a foetus or a squashed anything? your blog always looks so jolly as well as being funny.

Expat mum said...

Please don't compare Walkers to frito-Lay. F-Lay have two flavours - "way-too-much-cheese" and "sour cream n onion". The concept of this competition sums up the spirit of crisp/eating in the UK. Brilliant.

Working mum said...

"Buiders' Breakfast" won, didn't it? I would have prefered your "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" flavour!

Grit said...

your suggestions are amazing! gingeroo is a winner word. and some of the flavour combinations are star material. clearly, you are too good a team!

A Modern Mother said...

Crouching Tiger sounds interesting. I don't really understand the obsession with crisps here and a never knew crisps could come in some many varities.

(Very) Lost in France said...

BTM - you are clearly just far too creative for the pedestrian likes of the real world. If I've won the Euromillions I'll buy you that Fiat 500. VLiF

Suburbia said...

I much prefer your suggestions, they had my mouth watering straight away........wanders off searching for food.......

Frog in the Field said...

My eldest daughter drew a fantastic picture and came up with a fab idea but wouldn't send it off!! Hmph!! I'm sure we (Imean she) would have won!

Casdok said...

I also prefered your suggestions.

Hope you find and win another competition soon.

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(Very) Lost in France said...

Where are you BTM? Call in soon. VLiF

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