Thursday, July 03, 2008
By that I mean that one of the tools in my skillset is my ability to terrify myself into action. I get scared about a few things; money, health and the children. My talent for inducing utter, chest-tightening, buttock-clenching fear can be demonstrated by my quest to give up smoking a few years ago. I'd given up plenty of times, been there, worn the patch but had never succeeded for very long. So, armed with acute self-knowledge, I bought John Diamond's book 'C'on the 1st of December and inhaled 10 times the amount of cigarettes of any poor chain-smoking laboratory beagle. By December 31st I was a wreck, couldn't breathe, was petrified of going to the dentist (mouth cancer), doctor (lung cancer) and couldn't wait to stub out the final tab. Which I did on New Year's Eve and have never smoked since.
My car went for an MOT last Friday and was returned yesterday with a bill for £1000। I went to pick Danny Boy up from a sports presentation and the car stopped dead on a roundabout at 9।30pm। Lurch had to come and get me and I was really late for Danny Boy. He was waiting in the dark with a load of scary older teenagers lurking nearby, fortunately another Mum had kindly turned her car around when I phoned and gone to pick him up.
The house has not had one viewer, still! All news about housing is beyond bad and to top that, as if plans to build a 200 foot high waste disposal incinerator a couple of miles away weren't hideously offputting enough, we had a villager's protest meeting notice pushed through the letterbox about a proposed airport and hotel being built two miles away. Lurch said he is now utterly immune to all bad news and wants to enter a darkened room, stay there and switch off the world. I also heard a news report on Radio 4 stating that middle-class Californians were now living in their cars as a direct result of the credit crunch.
Last night I had a dream. I dreamt that Danny Boy was running slowly towards me, smiling joyously with an epee in one hand and a cream parchment Oxbridge offer in the other. I turned around proudly and saw David Van Day from Dollar flipping burgers in his van, getting sweaty, and harrassed with the queue of people. The next thing that happened was that his lovely assistant appeared with a bottle of replacement ketchup and it was me! He yelled at me for being incompetent and I woke up, cold with fear. I know what I'm doing. I'm terrifying myself into action..