Thursday, July 03, 2008

Auto Terrorist



By that I mean that one of the tools in my skillset is my ability to terrify myself into action. I get scared about a few things; money, health and the children. My talent for inducing utter, chest-tightening, buttock-clenching fear can be demonstrated by my quest to give up smoking a few years ago. I'd given up plenty of times, been there, worn the patch but had never succeeded for very long. So, armed with acute self-knowledge, I bought John Diamond's book 'C'on the 1st of December and inhaled 10 times the amount of cigarettes of any poor chain-smoking laboratory beagle. By December 31st I was a wreck, couldn't breathe, was petrified of going to the dentist (mouth cancer), doctor (lung cancer) and couldn't wait to stub out the final tab. Which I did on New Year's Eve and have never smoked since.





My car went for an MOT last Friday and was returned yesterday with a bill for £1000। I went to pick Danny Boy up from a sports presentation and the car stopped dead on a roundabout at 9।30pm। Lurch had to come and get me and I was really late for Danny Boy. He was waiting in the dark with a load of scary older teenagers lurking nearby, fortunately another Mum had kindly turned her car around when I phoned and gone to pick him up.

The house has not had one viewer, still! All news about housing is beyond bad and to top that, as if plans to build a 200 foot high waste disposal incinerator a couple of miles away weren't hideously offputting enough, we had a villager's protest meeting notice pushed through the letterbox about a proposed airport and hotel being built two miles away. Lurch said he is now utterly immune to all bad news and wants to enter a darkened room, stay there and switch off the world. I also heard a news report on Radio 4 stating that middle-class Californians were now living in their cars as a direct result of the credit crunch.






Last night I had a dream. I dreamt that Danny Boy was running slowly towards me, smiling joyously with an epee in one hand and a cream parchment Oxbridge offer in the other. I turned around proudly and saw David Van Day from Dollar flipping burgers in his van, getting sweaty, and harrassed with the queue of people. The next thing that happened was that his lovely assistant appeared with a bottle of replacement ketchup and it was me! He yelled at me for being incompetent and I woke up, cold with fear. I know what I'm doing. I'm terrifying myself into action..

11 comments:

Suburbia said...

Boils?!!!

Anyway, I hate the way I can scare myself (about all those things you mentioned, health children etc.) It makes me feel ill!

Like the pic of your new home though!! ;)

goodbyetoallfat said...

Congrats on taking such drastic action to force yourself to quit smoking! Having lost my totally fag addicted mother to lung cancer I am always impressed when I hear about smokers who have managed to quit.

Exmoorjane said...

Oh heck, I sympathise totally with the non house sale. Won't tell you about the two years it took to sell ours (and not even in an economic slump). Sorry. Not helpful. There's nothing worse than deciding you're ready to move on and then find there is absolutely nothing you can do about it - you're stuck.
Great re the cigs. Wish I could scare myself into really healthy eating.

rosiero said...

I'm always afraid the sky is going to fall in, well not literally, of course, but I can always see the down-side of something. The trouble is, I am often right!! The housing market is a right pain at the moment. Hopefully, it will not be for long and you can start to move onwards and upwards again.

GoneBackSouth said...

Sorry to hear about the credit crunch and other house bad news. Have you considered renting it until the market imnproves? I know it's not ideal but if it lets you do what you want to do ... anyway maybe you'll sell it next week.

Mae said...

Sweetie, it seems like when it rains it pours, but we must hang there

KittyB said...

Take heart - my car was £1500 last year but only £180 last week, thank god. It was almost the straw that broke the camel's back last June - and that was before the credit crunch!
Well done on the cigs, think will have to buy 'C' for my friend's birthday, as she is trying to lead me astray with a Marlboro Menthol. And I am easily led...

blogthatmama said...

Still got the scars Suburbia!

GTAF I had to do something, I loved smoking so much.

Rosiero and GBS I don't think it's going to improve soon but the renting is definitely an option and Mae I'm hanging on there. Have managed to cheer myself up in the last couple of days.

Kitty B I was shopping in Northallerton today and looked out for a Tanita Tikaram look alike, didn't spot her!

Frog in the Field said...

You're losing it woman :-)

Stinking Billy said...

"Stub out the final tab"? Tab? Bugger me if your not a Geordie, mama?

(Very) Lost in France said...

Blogthatmama - I can sympathise with the house sale business. We are living in genteel poverty with a whole load of money tied up in a property we can't sell. In fact they won't even take it on the market. You have an award waiting for you on my blog VLiF