Friday, May 16, 2008

'I'll be that volunteer, Sir' - Corporal Jones, Dad's Army

I've promised myself to be brief on the blog today, I can feel addiction rising!

When I was feeling particularly isolated and full of enthusiasm for New Year resolutions I read a lot of articles about happiness. Apparently loneliness causes misery and community spirit makes you joyful. I set to it.

Yesterday I went to pick up Danny Boy at 5.45pm from a cricket match against St Mydadsgotmoredoshthanyours (the boys call it that not me!) . The Terminator had cubs at 6.30. The coach was 45minutes late back to school. Danny Boy got off in a temper - he was 12th man, hadn't played and had to keep score (maths not his strong point) and they lost. Gave him usual lecture on working hard to get in team and having good sporting attitude e.g. David Beckham dropped from England squad, fought back, Paula Radcliffe's comeback from Athen's marathon etc. - felt like Winston Churchill at the end of inspiring motivational speech, Danny Boy just sulked then cheered up when he told me they were late because the coach driver had crashed the coach into a lampost and that he suspected the cause of the accident was 'intoxication'.

The Terminator was late for cubs, as I apologised Akela reminded me that I had promised to help practise putting up tents. By 8.00pm my head was pounding - no wonder the collective noun for cubs is a pack. Akela also reminded me that I said I'd do the cooking for cub camp next week - did I? when was that? I don't remember putting my name forward.. so I'm now responsible for making sandwiches for 40 cubs, at least I've avoided the sausage sizzle and overnight stay.

Got home starving at 8.15 no food in the house, Lurch smirking menacingly. I get in a temper when I'm hungry. Lurch told me that Nev, Danny Boy's football coach, had called to remind me that the 'Lads vs Dads' annual football match was on Saturday and that I was playing. Lurch has zero sporting ability, he only played cricket for the school once when there was a chicken pox epidemic, owns no swimming trunks and refers to footy as 'oikball'. What was I going to wear? Rushed upstairs to try on combo of my running shorts, Danny Boy's Bolton shirt, socks, shin pads and boots - Danny Boy is much thinner than me but same height and foot size. Came downstairs, Danny Boy looked worried, Lurch exclaimed in a broad Scottish accent 'Why, wee Jimmy Crankie you're all growd up!'. To my credit, I didn't move a muscle in reaction, knowing that if I did I would be referred to as wee Jimmy for the next few weeks. Lurch has some real talents, by the way, accents being one of them. Decided to splash out on new, flattering tracky bottoms from the brand that speaks to me and reflects my image of myself as a pioneering go-getter, yes Cherokee!

Remembered last thing that I had school governor's meeting at 2.00pm tomorrow. Went to bed exhausted and stressed from volunteering...

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