Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Ifs and butts



God help me! Just as I was scoffing down my All Bran at top speed, preparing to take Danny Boy to school, getting his athletics stuff ready and finding him a snack and a drink he came up to me, looked me straight in the eye and asked 'Mum, what is a butt plug?' Like lightening I replied 'it does exactly what it says on the tin..'. 'Have you ever used one?' he asked. 'No, now go and get in the car or you'll be late for school'. If I'd sent him to public school instead of a state school the size of a small town would he have asked me that question?

The prank on my poor nephew backfired - his mother said he is an 8 year old trapped in an 18 year old's body. He forgot to put his new address on facebook so only 7 people went to his party - he was also waiting eagerly for us to arrive. I felt such a mean old Aunty Blogthatmama, sent him a loving apology e:mail,

10 comments:

Exmoorjane said...

Er, right....ummm....I'm with Danny Boy on this one....but have the feeling I don't really want More Information here...
Wouldn't bet on the public school thing either.....we've gone the second mortgage route and get a regular dose of filth (though obviously not butt plugs - memo to self -ask the nine year old when he comes home).

goodbyetoallfat said...

I'm sure if he went to public school he would be asking exactly the same embarrassing questions ... possibly even more -- apparently there is more drug taking at public schools (amongst the monied classes) than there is at state schools.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

If you'd sent him to public school not only would he have used a butt plug by now but would probably be fagging for some sadistic git by now!

GoneBackSouth said...

I don't know which is more shocking - your post or MOB's response!!! Both funny anyway (and I'm sure there's worse to come ...)

blogthatmama said...

Jane and GTAF your comments cheer me up. I'm going to stop looking at those lovely school websites of happy clean-mouthed children in straw boaters and maroon felt blazers(at least for a day or so).

MOB glad you're back in blogworld, have missed you!

GBS I'm quaking in my mock-Ugg M&S slippers because I know there's worse to come and Danny Boy is the sweet one! I'm an unwilling participant in this seamy world of grime...

Suburbia said...

Mine is off to that small town sized school in September! OMG!!

(Very) Lost in France said...

Butt plugs, egads! Mine went to private school but didn't come out with thatone! CH did, however, come home one day with a piece of medicalia (if that's what you call old medical items) and it's a syringe in a wooden case. My first thought was ohmygod, he come home with a butt plug! VLiF

Stinking Billy said...

Never heard of that expression, but whoever decided on an eight-letter 'word verification' in this section today surely deserves one.

Bollinger Byrd said...

Why is it always when we're eating that we get asked questions like that.
I got asked what a blow job was over the supper table several years ago.
made for interesting food splatter pattern on the tablecloth!

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

Ouch! We have been to the Cotswold Wildlife Park today (lovely) where you can stand really close to the likes of rhinos. Which is a good and a bad thing - bad when you can see your 5-year-old staring in wonder and the MALE beast's assets and just waiting for the enevitable outburst (which was then overheard by his 3-year-old sister!)