Monsoon Metamorphosis

Last week I went shopping for a new dress for my friend's 40th birthday party, it was a pink party in aid of breast cancer. I strolled into Monsoon, they had some of the most beautiful, feminine clothes I'd seen in a long time so I gathered loads of pink things up and headed off into the changing rooms. Pulling the first dress over my head I thought 'that's a big snug' and then tried to do the zip up - wouldn't go near my heaving bosom! 'Must be the cut' I thought and then tried another, same thing. I looked at myself in the full-length mirror and realised that a Kafkaesque transformation had occurred over the winter months. I had turned into this!!

Aargh! My arms and legs were fine but my abdomen and all the bits on it had swollen to epic proportions. 'Maybe I'm about to give birth, like that woman dressed as a bumble bee on a hen night' I thought to myself in terror, but then realised that Percy Pig and his sugary Pals and Signor Pinot Grigio were the true parents of this horrific offspring. I had always been this shape, but never this bad.

I went home and squeezed myself into an old pink shirt, had a blast at the party and then decided enough was enough on Sunday। So, this week I feel like one of those Florida pensioners waking up from a coma (except that I'm not wearing a peach velour tracksuit). Those flabby, shabby unattractive days are behind me now. I have had no sweets or alcohol for five days, All Bran instead of lashings of buttery toast for breakfast and I went on an 8 mile run yesterday. Result? Four pounds lost this week. I certainly don't intend to become a diet bore but I really feel much better. I have also got off my backside and had two business meetings. One with the mum, Miss Dynamite, which was great and really fired me up and another with a fantastic lady else who wants to set up a marketing training course with me. Time to up my ante!